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Cooperation and Interference

Aug 17

9 min read

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#weddingphotography, #weddingplanning, #weddingphotographer, #bridzillas, #AITA, #weddingblogs, #photographyblogs, #weddingsolutions,


Cooperation & Interference 


Because of trends and cultural shifting of the “tectonic plates” of weddings,.  I’ve had to make a few changes to my terms & conditions page of my wedding contract to adjust to the current trend that has become more of an obstacle in recent years than ever before. Interestingly, I’m not alone, and I’ve spoken to several others in the industry from studio managers, other wedding photographers as well as videographers who are all becoming familiar with the growing trend which makes our work much more stressful, and difficult, when everyone with a cell or entry level camera, views themselves as a competent professional, wants to direct the creative work. The people who I speak with are pros of many years 15+ 30+ year veterans of serving the public in their craft related to weddings, and what I have been finding, is quite common. I wrote in a previous blog about a Karen with a Camera situation, where an awful wedding planner instructed her couple to tell their guests to bring their cameras as “Back-up”.. incase the professional crew of photographers and videographers failed to deliver….(Not sure what prompted that terrible advice, )…..which resulted in a soccer-mom with a Canon Rebel type camera, with a cheapo lens and pop-up flash pretty much ruining the entire intro of the ceremony, by getting in our shots, as well as a few portrait moments with the children from the bridal party..


    (Speaking to fellow photographers)..Imagine now, you book a couple, shoot their engagement shoot, or perhaps it’s an agency wedding, where they assign you to a couple who liked your portfolio, where you are making a fraction of the earnings they charge….either… You get on the phone, you connect with them, you go over the plans they have for their big day, you do a follow-up.. etc.. and you walk into the event thinking you’ll have a good shoot, when suddenly you learn… “My friend also shoots weddings, and he/she will assist with the photography, the posing, and they will be working on their portfolio the entire time, instead of hiring a 2nd shooter, who likely, their experience of wedding photography consists of showing up to a friend’s wedding with their eatery level camera/ equipment..and instead of working with you, they insist on taking turns, disturbing the flow of the wedding, taking up valuable time… or they show up to the wedding without equipment, and try to order you around everywhere: 


  No…  You need to go over there to take your pictures… where it is sunny! Taking pictures under the tree or where it is shady is stupid! It’s a sunny day and all you want to do is shoot under the shade of a tree..??!! (within an hour of the solar noon time when the lighting sucks to the max) You are a shitty photographer! It’s a good thing ____ asked me to be here… because I know what I am doing! …………….(Who can work creatively when you have some unprofessional, rude, inexperienced Woke idiot trying to tell you how to do your job??!…I can’t) 


  Who are You..??!! & Why are YOU interfering with me over what I do..??!! Why don’t you just leave me alone and be cooperative so that I can perform the job that I have been successfully doing all these years, with a Beautiful portfolio to show for it, so that I can deliver photos like that, to____ & ____ who hired ME to take & direct. If they are not paying you for your wisdom, you need to remove yourself from my face, or I am leaving. 


 Such situations should NEVER happen in any workplace environment, let alone at a Wedding..!


  Just about every wedding these days, whether it be directly booked or via an agency, some quasi-professional is interrupting me and my work, making my work much more stressful, which doesn’t contribute in any positive way to the end results. So, I am telling you now…  Learn from my blog what not to do……….Or read my new contract.  


  Hence my amended terms and conditions:


“It is our intention to provide the best possible photography for your event. Time restrictions, church restraints, lighting, weather conditions, lack of cooperation and interference from others, are just some of the factors that make photography an imperfect science. Your cooperation to assist in this effort is essential. The clients provides a shot list or itinerary, it is understood that these are only guidelines and ideas to follow. Itineraries will be respected; however the photographer is not responsible for keeping the day on schedule. The photographers and Studio cannot be responsible for any photographs missing of any relatives, friends, etc... It is understood that John Paul Greco Photography will be the exclusive professional photographer at your event.”



  That being said, I’ve always been open to suggestions & requests from my couples and guests, but that does not mean that I am open to someone “Taking Over” the direction and or style of the wedding photography, who was not in direct communication with me and the wedding couple in our plan talk conversations prior to the wedding. In the last year, I have been disrespected by a number of people, some who claim to be  “wedding photographers”, “wedding planners”, as well as a “fashion model/ stylist”, who after a few drinks (or drugs) in them, …(or none at all)…  insist on directing ME…  my art…  my style…  to which is irrelevant to them, even though in all cases, I have been shooting weddings for longer than any one of them has been alive and walking this Earth! 


  They just come in with their own ideas…  and I am basically “in their way”..


  In the Autumn of 2023, just weeks after the passing of my Dad, I shot a wedding where one of the bridesmaids got in my face, and began a soap-box style rant, in front of everyone in earshot, verbally insulting me, accusing me of all things she had no examples of, even when I pressed her for them, the best she could muster was that I asked the wedding party to move to a better location out of the direct sunlight. In this particular situation, I began photographing the wedding party, in front of a background that looked ok, until the sun broke from behind the clouds and shined harsh solar-noon lighting directly on the faces of everyone, causing them to squint, and the shot to look of poor quality. I then directed everyone to go to a shaded area, which also featured some nice Autumn colors from the trees in the background. This action on my part was claimed to be her biggest grievance… to which I call B.S, and try to convince her that it is my job to direct the photography so that it looks professional, and matches my artistic style…  to which she rants over me saying by far, the dumbest thing I have ever heard in my life:


 “If you want to take artistic pictures at a wedding, don’t be a wedding photographer.”


I then asked her.. to explain what she meant by that, for which she doubled-down saying:


 “If you want to take pictures that are more inline with your artistic vision, don’t be a wedding photographer.”


Well, isn’t that my job..?  Isn’t that why the B&G hired me, because they loved MY artistic photos and wanted to follow my artistic vision..?  Heck, the bride in this wedding actually told me exactly that in our telephone talk just prior to the wedding. What we have here, is a jealous, Woke person who is blinded by her feelings towards me for being the chosen one to not only be the wedding photographer, but to direct the photography too. How did that wedding end for her Bride that she cared less about than for herself..?  Not well at all. She actually escalated things from there to a point where I was actually fearing her physically attacking me, possibly damaging my equipment, etc..  when she approached me like an obese raging bull, then got right up in my face to tell me that: 


“It is wrong to take pictures of people in front of others at a wedding!”


….in front of everyone, of course..  sigh..



 I hope one day, her eyes find my blog..!  


Look…  If you have an idea…  all I ask is that you discuss it with me. That’s all I ask. (& Be an Adult about it!) I may ask you for an example of the idea.. Like…  do you have a picture for me to go off of..?  Or I can make a suggestion to do it in a certain type of lighting, or maybe I can shoot it later in the day when I can set up a shot with the couple, or whomever, or when I have more time, because often, I am in the middle of a time-crunch, where I just don’t have time to accommodate any additional shots, because of the things I need to do between that moment and the next thing on the schedule, hence why cooperation always helps in allowing us more time to get more done. 



  Please don’t just spring-load a bunch of “ideas” on me, and expect me to read your mind, and then showing me disrespect…(which is a very mild way of putting it in some of the cases. I’m sorry, but I don’t deserve to be disrespected by anyone. I work so hard to be patient with my couples, and their friends, family and guests. When I get disrespected by someone…  it really eats me up. I’m human, and my creative ability drops, and I don’t perform as well as I could if I am floating in positivity & good vibes… like anyone else. Furthermore, I apologize  for not acquiring a Masters Degree in “Telepathic Communication”. Mind reading is not part of my job description, and anyone who actually works as a “Fashion Designer”… or a “Photographer,” should know this. Everyone in the industry knows that Planning is Essential to Good results. I go by the “5-P’s”..  “Perfect Planning Permits Perfect Pictures.” Communication of ideas is essential to making them happen. 



  As a part of my Plans Talks…I always ask my couples to send me screenshots of pictures they fell in love with, and would really like to have me do the day of their wedding, in advance, so that I can 1. have them with me at the wedding. 2. I can plan for the specific shot, in addition to the lighting, time to take them, and so on, to try to pull off a photo that they want me to do. (BTW, along with my written notes from my Final Plans talk, I take photos of the requested photos, along with the itinerary etc..on each of my camera bodies, so that I have all that information going into the wedding, at just a few clicks of the dial away to save time and patience as part of my preparations for the event.)  Not all couples will send me requested photos, so if they don’t, then all I ask is that they just follow my lead, because I can likely come up with some fun stuff that everyone will like, that will also be flattering, and beautiful in the end when you get to see what I did. 



 Just because someone sees some nice photos on social media, along with a few drinks in them, doesn’t mean that they are qualified to direct or order me around, disagreeing with me out loud, making a dramatic stink in front of others for their own glory, as a means of elevating themselves, at the expense of Me, the one with the camera, paid to do the photography, based on the artistic preference of the couple and their decision to hire me, not them. So, that pretty much covers the “interference” clause. 



  Cooperation goes hand-in-hand with good results. I can only do so much… I can only lead a horse to water.. getting it to drink from it…That’s up to the horse.  I can do some amazing, beautiful work as my portfolio shows, if people cooperate with me in moving urgently at times, because sometime, for example, when I am trying to work with a couple for Sunset photos if they delay going outside for 5 minutes, that sunset is done and over with. That being said, it’s your wedding..  Perhaps you placed more value in your enjoyment of your wedding by dancing to dance to another song or two.. or do another shot at the bar… or talk an extra five minutes to a friend before heading outside for “Sunset” pictures, which by now, have morphed into “Twilight” photos..because you took too long to go outside, with increasingly degrading available ambient light..…….That being said, we can do Night Time photos any time after sundown.. 


  If you cooperate with me, you may find your photos in a section of my portfolio too, or on Pinterest.. etc..   that other couples will desire to have photos like those taken on their Big Day, thanks to being inspired by you! :-)

Aug 17

9 min read

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